I love the gram and I know I’m not the only one! One of my guilty pleasures is I go around saving or screen-shoting quotes and sayings that I feel speak to where I’m at, where I’m going or even where I’ve been. So for this series I thought to pull from instagram some wise sayings and show why each mantra is key to any entrepreneur or aspiring entrepreneur.
As an entrepreneur, sometimes we need to refuel. If you are a business owner, blogger, social media personality, or maintaining several hustles this is key. At times, we have to think and strategize on how we can streamline ourselves rather it is personal or business. I have always had to multi-task rather it was balancing activities and jobs with school or even balancing multiple hustles after graduate school was over. Staying mentally and emotionally on point has always been important whenever I am in a busy phase in my life.
In the upcoming weeks I will discuss helpful wellness tips for business owners or anyone looking to start some type of venture separate from their daily 9 to 5. People often can overlook the importance of mental health in the entrepreneurial setting. That is a huge mistake. Being centered will actually trickle down and make a huge improvement in your productivity.
Here are the four mantras or quotes that I will discuss in detail in this series:
- “A lot of what weighs you down isn’t yours to carry”
- “People who save everyone, usually don’t save themselves”
- “One of the most important things you could learn in life is who to do business with and who to just be friends with.”
- “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that my energy and mental health are both in order. Never take it personal if I have to keep to myself. It’s how I recharge and regroup so I can be the best version of me.”
Bag lady you gone hurt your back
Dragging all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold onto, is you, is you, is you
– Erkya Badu (Bag Lady Lyrics)
Don’t be the bag lady or the bag gentleman. Baggage weighs you down and can effect relationships and business goals or ventures. Let go of your personal baggage and more importantly let go of other people’s baggage. Sometimes we mentally weigh ourselves down with our insecurities, fear of success, generational issues, the opinion’s of others and even past experiences. Let it go.
Social media influencer and designer @crimebydesign
Others in our circle (like friend and families) will often ask us to become baggage carriers for them. It isn’t always a request made by them; sometimes it just happens. We often don’t realize it until months or even years down the line.
That friend that just calls you multiple times a week to unload about her life. Is she hi-jacking your emotional well being?! Don’t allow people to offload 24/7. You are not a dumping ground for other people’s problems.
Ask yourself about the people who have access to your time. Are they asking for your time to socialize and build friendship? Or is it mostly for their own gain or benefit? If it is always a favor or you always have to be the problem-solver then you have an unpaid counselor-patient relationship. And you are holding onto their emotional baggage even if you don’t realize it.
My close friends all know about the benefits of counseling. The people who refuse to get counseling but want you to be a constant problem solver are selfish. As an entrepreneur I can still be friends with needy people but I don’t have to feel guilty about declining to carry their baggage. You are not being a bad friend by doing so. You have the power to accept and set what friendship means for you against the backdrop of your lifestyle. If your spirit is weighed down by others; it can affect how you do business and your level of productivity. We all have our own cross to bear but you do not have to be weighed down by everyone else’s issues. It is unhealthy and will take away time and energy from your own business endeavors.
Some of you may feel I’m being too harsh. “Isn’t friendship about sharing the good and the bad?” Wow, she’s asking me to be unloyal. I’m not. I’m being truthful. And, I’m asking you to put yourself first.
Does a store give away valuable goods for free to the same customer who shows up without their wallet? No. You are valuable. As an entrepreneur you are not a regular individual. You have less time than the regular individual so have your limits. Even credit cards have limits.Your time is not for sale but it is still valuable. Card declined. Stores have to be mindful and firm to their customers. And so should you. This mindful but firm way of dealing with people can be applied to friends, family members, partnerships and even your customers.
It is fine to be someone’s confidante but you have to choose wisely and that can not be the basis of one’s relationship. It also is not sustainable if there is not a mutual exchange. If you are going through some hard times and you need a vent partner where both of you vent; that may be work. However, I want to be honest. There is a downside to creating this type of friendship cycle. It can become a toxic cycle where both of you feed each other negative stories versus focusing on encouragement. If you need a vent partner; the focus needs to be on self-improvement. Personally, I have a large number of friends and a vent-relationship is not sustainable for me nor healthy.
Everyone has a different threshold and every since I was a teen, I have preferred to be surrounded by similar energy. I have been most productive and sound minded when I am surrounded by positivity. All of this affects my output and I think it does for most people. Every individual is different but the reality is we all are spiritual beings. Identify what types of friendships best compliment your growth as an individual. In pursuing one’s goals and building a business— having a clear head really can help one stay grounded. Being a business owner has its own stresses associated with it. Your job is to decrease stress levels in other areas so you don’t become overwhelmed.
“A lot of what weighs you down isn’t yours to carry.” Remember, a lot of what weighs you down can be removed. Cut away the layers of baggage so you can float to the top. This can be a bad relationship or a toxic business partner. Never feel like you have to be married to the status quo. We are creatures of habits but sometimes you have to change what you are use to in order to be successful. Change. Release that baggage.
