When 2-time Olympian and gold medalist Aly Raisman revealed that Larry Nassar, team doctor for USA’s gymnastics team, had sexually abused her, there was an outpouring of support for her bravery. More than 130 women whose experiences were similar to Aly’s have filed lawsuits against Nassar, and respectfully, only a few are speaking publicly. But at 23-years-old and a little more than a year removed from her and her Final Five teammates’ Rio dominance, Aly chose to relive pieces of her painful story on 60 minutes.
Everyone was rallying around her…until they weren’t.
Enter teammate Gabby Douglas.
In a treacherous move that gets a for sure score of 0.00, Gabby responded to one of Aly’s tweets about the importance of supporting survivors of sexual abuse.
To call Gabby’s reply anything less than stupid would be, well, stupid.
Let’s pause for a brutal moment of honesty, however, and recognize the fact that countless people think similarly.
Embarrassingly, I’ve had those “how was she dressed” or “where were they when it happened” thoughts. One day, thankfully, I stepped out of my own self-righteous way long enough to remember something I experienced in college.
I was 18, a college freshman at the University of Georgia, the new girl on the dance team who often paraded around campus in cheeky practice shorts and fitted tanks. I became enamored with an old-head, Athens local and he with me, or so I thought. He won me over by chatting with me about Prince and sports between my classes.
Eventually, this guy, whose name I don’t remember, invited me to his apartment, and after a month or so, I went. At night. Alone.
You big dummy.
Fortunately, this doesn’t end like so many women’s and men’s #MeToo stories, but understand that 18-year-old Erica who was smart enough to gain early acceptance to UGA was too dumb to recognize this was a booty call. It wasn’t until he turned off the bedroom lights, literally turned on the red lamps and blasted B-Sides Prince that I realized I wasn’t there to continue our conversation about Raspberry Beret. I hauled ass.
Had I gotten assaulted or worse, RAPED, a lot of people would’ve said, “well, what did she think she was there for that time of night” or “you see what she wears on campus.”
And that’s the exact sentiment Gabby expressed in her moronic, victim-shaming tweet.
Finagling narratives that hold victims accountable for their abuse because of how they’re dressed or because they’re at the wrong place, wrong time teeters on being as malignant as the actual assaults.
And while Gabby’s busy assailing folks’ wardrobe choices, let’s remember we’ve all seen her butt cheeks and her “print,” courtesy of her competition leotards.
Furthermore, even if you think your teammate exhibits thot tendencies, doctors and coaches are expected to act as surrogates, to protect and guide while you and your teammates pursue your passions away from your parents. Gabby, in what world do we slut-shame peers for dressing suggestively around their guardians?
Hypothetically, if in some parallel universe, Aly is misrepresenting the truth (the way 2017 is set up, we might actually be living in said universe), is publicly hijacking your own teammate’s assault testimony instead of taking it up with her personally what we’re doing now?
Perhaps it’s all a part of Gabby’s So Salty Tour after losing her spotlight to Simone Biles last year.
It’s important to note that Gabby deleted her insensitive tweet and replaced it with a more sympathetic one, but only after another teammate, Simone Biles, jumped to Aly’s defense.
Let’s regard Gabby’s replacement tweet a good first step in her atoning. Let’s also have candid conversations about how many of us, while knowing better than to tweet those thoughts, have at some point thought those thoughts.
Unashamedly acknowledging this will likely help us collectively arrive at one conclusion — that regardless how low the neckline, how high the skirt, how egregious that leotard wedgie, someone having “enticed the wrong crowd” is never an excuse for assault.
All images belong to respective owners. Main image via Getty.
