Dear Black Women,
Let’s talk Sexualization of Black Women and our Bodies: So much to say. So much that can be said. Our curves are beautiful. Our hair is beautiful. Our varying shades are beautiful. Our wide noses and full lips are beautiful.
There has been a ton of negative messaging and chatter about black men’s dislike of certain skin tones on their women. Blog comments have been in shambles all year. Well I have a message to my fellow black women.
Don’t look to the media or a black man (or any man) for that matter to validate your beauty. Please stop. Stop looking for your black male counterpart to define your value. Many of them look in the mirror daily and deep down inside are uncertain about this dark skin that was given to them. They may not have been taught that melanin is a gift (not a curse) and that the nappy hair on their head is a crown.
Some black men may only want what they see as a symbol of privilege. A privilege they weren’t born with. Don’t try to understand.
It is nice when we are cherished by them. But obsessing over those who weren’t taught by their mothers or fathers or often absentee fathers that black is beautiful is NOT your issue.
Don’t let someone make you jump through higher hoops because you’re darker. Know your worth. You’re valuable.
Even in our own pure form there is an innocence and regal air to our curvy forms. Put aside the fetishization that has happened to us over the centuries. Your curves don’t have to be sexual. Wear them with pride. You don’t have to feel ashamed nor feel you have to play the “black vixen” role. Relax. Love this image because it blends modernity with tradition and customs that may seem like they come from another time.
I love the dignity in how her body is shown in this picture even if it is exposed. I’ve never been against showing the female form. But somehow the black woman’s body has become hyper sexualized so much that women need to buy our features to feel appealing and to be seen as sex goddesses. We can drown in shame sometimes because of this hyper sexualization. Or rise above it. I love how free and unaware she is. It speaks to the society she is part of—as well as volumes about our own.
With Love,
Lena O
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