Lesson From Lena: Relationships & The Blame Game

Let’s talk relationships real quick.πŸ‘€πŸ”¦

Stop it. Stop playing the blame game. Pointing fingers, constant disagreements, raising of voices, constant accusations… These are all things I DON’T tolerate in a relationship. If this is happening to you; figure out if you are part of the problem or the solution.

Sit down and talk to your mate at a time where there is a no conflict so you guys can troubleshoot what is constantly ticking you guys off. And no I don’t want to hear that black relationships are always dysfunctional or that black men or black women don’t know how to listen.

Nah. I reject that.

Maybe sometimes we’re untrained but we deal with each other in such an authentic and real way that others want to be part of that magic.

That authenticity though… Sometimes it creates flames and sometimes it creates fire πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯😢 but guess what?!

Learn how to douse those flames. Learn your partner and anticipate and try to look at your problems from both of your point of views.

If all we do is fight well I can not deal with that at all!!! I do not need to debate anyone in a relationship. I did not sign up for membership in a debate club!!! Second, that bad will or energy created from these huge arguments takes forever to fade.

In all honesty, I love taking responsibility for my actions even when I’m wrong because I feel like I can lead by example… I’m a woman so I don’t need to lead the relationship but I do believe in leading by example in an area that I may have greater maturity in.

If a man is intelligent and wants to build; he’ll see whatever he can learn from me and take the reins and make it his own. I rather spend my time watching a man to see if he is a good decision maker v. spending all my time not agreeing on small issues.

[artwork from our fave @matthewzaremba ]

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